"Today I don't feel like doing anything
I just wanna lay in my bed
Don't feel like picking up my phone, so leave a message at the tone
'Cause today I swear I'm not doing anything
I'm gonna kick my feet up then stare at the fan
Turn the TV on, throw my hand in my pants
Nobody's gon' tell me I can't
I'll be lounging on the couch just chilling in my Snuggie
Click to MTV so they can teach me how to dougie
'Cause in my castle I'm the freaking man
Oh yes, I said it, I said it
I said it 'cause I can
Today I don't feel like doing anything
I just wanna lay in my bed
Don't feel like picking up my phone, so leave a message at the tone
'Cause today I swear I'm not doing anything
Nothing at all, nothing at all
Tomorrow I'll wake up, do some P90X
Find a really nice girl, have some really nice sex
And she's gonna scream out
This is great
(Oh my god, this is great)
Yeah, I might mess around
And get my college degree
I bet my old man will be so proud of me
But sorry pops, you'll just have to wait
Oh yes, I said it, I said it
I said it 'cause I can
Today I don't feel like doing anything
I just wanna lay in my bed
Don't feel like picking up my phone, so leave a message at the tone
'Cause today I swear I'm not doing anything
No, I ain't gonna comb my hair
'Cause I ain't going anywhere
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
I'll just strut in my birthday suit
And let everything hang loose
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Oh, today I don't feel like doing anything
I just wanna lay in my bed
Don't feel like picking up my phone, so leave a message at the tone
'Cause today I swear I'm not doing anything
Nothing at all
Nothing at all
Nothing at all"
Jesus Christ on a motorcycle; I am INSPIRED. I think the first thing im going to do is deliver a baby while skydiving, because after listening to this song I now realize that I have the power inside of me to accomplish whatever it is I set my mind to. No seriously, this man must have locked himself inside of a room and fermented his feelings to be released in a geyser of introspective greatness for all the world to hear. I have done alot of things in my life, listened to alot of great music in many diverse styles, but Ive never come across a song that has essentially planted a happy seed at the core of my soul that is constantly emanating rays of pure ecstasy. Holy shit, I am so happy right now. I am so happy because of this song that I wish I could have sex with the year 1994, because that was a great year. Wow =).......a text smiley is merely the first step in expressing the pure joy achieved by knowing that this song exists and that people all over the world are realizing the lyrical genius that Mr. Mars possesses. With every keystroke I feel as if my fingers are transferring pure unadulterated bliss from my body to this text for your eyes to see and marvel at the fact that a single man has put together words in such a way that now, because of this song, world hunger is probably going to be solved. Lets analyze this lyrical astuteness:
Today I don't feel like doing anything
I just wanna lay in my bed
Don't feel like picking up my phone, so leave a message at the tone
'Cause today I swear I'm not doing anything
Weeeeeeeee hahahahaha! I am feeling so rebellious right now that these words are making me want to have breakfast at midnight. Holy uppercutting-a-gooses-vagina, this chorus is perfection. This means that if there is a God, this chorus is it. So those of you who are reading this, if you want to go to heaven, print out a piece of paper with these lyrics on them and start worshiping it, that is if the piece of paper doesnt first turn into a dove and fly directly into your heart.
We can see that he doesnt want to do anything on this particular day. Maybe he had a long week. Maybe his car broke down and he canceled all of his plans. Or maybe he is just tired. If you need to reach him, do not call his cell phone, because we can see that if you do decide to call him, that it will ring a few times and you will have to leave a message once his voice mail comes on. Wait; maybe he will press the 'ignore' button and his phone will ring one and a half times before it reaches voice mail?! This open ended lyric shows you that Bruno is leaving it up to the listener to decipher how many times his phone will ring before it achieves voice mail status. Pure FUCKING genius. After you do leave your message, however, you should know that he still will not be doing anything for the remainder of the day.
I'm gonna kick my feet up then stare at the fan
Turn the TV on, throw my hand in my pants
Nobody's gon' tell me I can't
To the keen observer, it can be assumed that the fan is switched 'on' when he decides to start staring at it, for why would anyone want to look at a fan that isnt turning? With this information, we can assume that it is hot in his particular location. Also, we can see that he is kicking up his feet, turning on the tv, and putting his hand down his pants; perhaps he is going to masturbate? As a listener, this is information that we have to decide on our own if it is true, and assuming it is, we now know that he is staring at his fan while jerking-off, something that I personally have yet to accomplish. Lastly, we can see that he is alone at his place of residence because he says that no one can tell him that he cannot do what he wants to do on this day. What a true badass we have on our hands.
I'll be lounging on the couch just chilling in my Snuggie
Click to MTV so they can teach me how to dougie
'Cause in my castle I'm the freaking man
So now we know at this juncture in the song that he has his hand down his pants while wearing a snuggie while sitting on the couch masturbating while looking at the fan. We can also see that he is audibly learning how to 'dougie' because his eyes arent fixed on the television, and that above all, he is the freaking man while doing so.
Oh yes, I said it, I said it
I said it 'cause I can
He said it! And you best believe hes doing it!
Tomorrow I'll wake up, do some P90X
Find a really nice girl, have some really nice sex
And she's gonna scream out
This is great
(Oh my god, this is great)
Fuckin' a. Hes aware that his laziness will have repercussions, and that tomorrow he will have to make up for it by doing some P90x. We can also confirm that he is home alone masturbating because he states that along with working out tomorrow, he is going to have some really nice sex with a girl. His confidence is portrayed at this point because he knows that said female is going to enjoy the experience, for she is going to scream out, and I quote "this is great."
Yeah, I might mess around
And get my college degree
I bet my old man will be so proud of me
But sorry pops, you'll just have to wait
So it turns out Bruno really is a badass. Our prior assumptions can be confirmed at this point in the song because we find out that not only does he not have his college degree, but he is going against the better judgment of his father. Sorry pops, youre just gunna have to wait! hehe 8)
No, I ain't gonna comb my hair
'Cause I ain't going anywhere
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
No no no no no no no no no no no he isnt going anywhere today, so whats the use of combing his hair? No one is gunna see him, right?
I'll just strut in my birthday suit
And let everything hang loose
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
He is naked. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah.
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