So it isnt often that I get scared shitless. It really takes something that isnt from this world to faze me. Let me begin. There are alot of characters that go to the gym I work at; tattoos, steroids, mommy issues, low self esteem, inflated self esteem, you name it, Ive seen in there. There is this one character in particular that I cant quite put my finger on, and human emotion works in such a way that what we cant understand, we fear. Logically speaking, I do not fear alot of things because I generally understand how people think, the reasons behind the things they do, and their motives for doing such. This one fellow however, I have no fucking idea whats going thru his mind. He is red. Yup, the color of his skin tone is red, and no he isnt Native American. He has tattoos all over his body and he wears a skullcap and a hoodie with the hood covering his hat at all times. He has a goatee that is formed so perfectly he must be using some sort of cookie cutting device. The same holds true for his eye brows, as they are so precisely waxed that there is no way that this being is from this planet. I wouldnt be surprised if his name was Ron, because I never met a 'Ron' that didnt scare the shit outta me. So logically speaking, the only way he could possibly exist is if he got sucked into a black hole from a parallel universe from a galaxy with a solar system that had a planet shaped like a giant clown cunt, and a sun that emitted "I wanna rock" by Twisted Sister on repeat via radio waves instead of light, and that he somehow exited this black hole from a worm hole that ended in our universe, and some how he found his way to our planet. When this fucking dude comes in the gym, I cannot look him in the eyes, because im afraid that if I show the slightest inclination of a smirk, or on the contrary, the slightest sign of intimidation, that he would jump over the counter and consume my soul.
Heres where things get really fucked up. Last night I consumed about 2,000 calories worth of fast food because im on a strict diet during the week, and ive found that by raising your calorie count during the weekends you burn more during the week when you consume less calories. If you know whats inside fast food you know that its bombarded with a substance called MSG, or Monosodium Glutamate, or as I like to call it, the devil's spice. I call it this because any time I eat something with a high level of this chemical I start feeling really off and my thought process becomes off kilter. Not only did I consume such a high amount of this shitty food, but I also consumed a 12 pack of miller lite, and the combination of the msg, alcohol, and the extremely high sodium content from the food made me dehydrated. Now lets think about the concept of dehydration; all life started in the ocean, and our bodies are made up of 60% water, therefore logically it would bring us closer to death-like state when our bodies are lacking a sufficient amount of H20.
So im passed the fuck out, and I start having crazy dreams. I dont remember the first few, but then it came. And did it come alright. Heres how it went: Im in a room in a house that im not familiar with, and there is a naked chick on the bed, so as anyone would do I went over to her and made sure she was alright, and we started talking, and as things started to get interesting there was an abrupt crashing sound that was the door being broken down; it was that fucking dude from the gym. For whatever reason, the physics of this particular dream were that of a shitty NES game and the next 'scene' was me in the street while this guy was coming over to me and attempting to grab me, and the next thing i knew i was in the backseat of a car that my dad was driving and the fucking dude was chasing us like in "Terminator 2", but this fucking guy was running twice as fast as T-1000. So as hes chasing us theres a general feeling of extreme discomfort coursing through my head as if my conscious was trying to tell my subconscious something really bad is going to happen. So the next thing I know is the guy is now in a pick up truck following us, and at this point in the dream I take out my cell phone and call the cops. This is all happening while the dude starts launching potatoes at us with a potato launcher. After going around the block a few times and gradually feeling shittier and shittier, we finally see the cops along the side of a building we passed making a crime scene for reasons im unsure of. Now heres where things get REALLY fucked up, as soon as the dude sees the cops, he takes out a machine gun and starts killing them all, and it was so realistic that I felt a true evil presence in my dream. If you ever felt a true evil presence, its like having part of your soul sucked into a void, it really is one of the scariest feelings ive ever came across. Its the type of shit that makes you wanna do a shitload of good deeds the next day. So as im in the middle of this killing frenzy, the guy finally shoots my dad and kills him, and the dream ends where he puts the gun in my mouth, but not before looking me square in the eyes.
When I say that I woke up scared out of my fucking mind......I woke up covered in sweat and I then proceeded to chug half a gallon of water, but now every time I go to work and that guy comes in, im going to shit my fucking pants.
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