This is gunna be my first actual post where I say whatever comes to mind.
I want to clarify to anyone who is wondering; I am not sad, not even remotely. In fact I probably am one of the most optimistic people you will ever come across because throughout years of living in a depression, I came out the other side, and I know what I need to do in my life to stay this way. One of my favorite quotes is "keep your head in the clouds, keep your feet on the ground" which means that in order to be truly successful, insightful, and happy in this journey we call life, you must let your imagination float into uncharted territories while keeping your foundation strong and solid. It was only when I hit rock bottom at around 21 years old that I realized that the only way I would have a fulfilling life was to do what it is that makes me happy; and that is being the true definition of being human. So many people lead the generic 'cog in the machine' life where they work for 40 some odd years doing the same routine over and over again while they surround themselves with the false security of a home, a spouse, kids and so forth. I realized at a young age that this 'American Dream' was merely a facade to keep the masses of generic people productive while the enlightened and elite reaped the rewards of watching these sheep function like a broken record; all while laughing at how pathetic their existence really is. Going back to hitting rock bottom, I knew in college I was faced with eventually leaving this bubbled reality and coming back to 'find a career' and pretend that everything was gunna be ok. The truth is, 95% of people accept this reality without question because in their minds its to only way to live comfortably; but it couldn't be farther from the truth. If you have particular skills and are a forward thinking person, then you eventually realize that it is possible to lead the a life that humans were meant to live; not even being a choice, its the ONLY way to live once you reach this epiphany. Spontaneity, wit, analysis, and constant self-observation are all traits of the type of people who pave their own path towards success. Ok now REALLY going back to hitting rock bottom. I was depressed while away at college for a number of years for a number of reasons that I really don't want to discuss now. The reality that I mentioned before of having to work for some boss who was essentially laughing at me for being subservient without question for 40 plus years was something that I couldn't live with as an enlightened human; I would rather die, than give someone else control of my destiny. I knew that I had the choice of killing myself or doing something with my life that was truly meaningful. After years of essentially cutting myself off from most types of human contact to 'find myself' I decided that suicide was the most pathetic thing I could have done. I knew that I was very intelligent and creative and that with determination and persistence I could do anything I wanted. I decided at that time that I was going to start my own college poster business, produce music, and a few years later do stand-up comedy, because as a very observant person, I knew what 'sounded good', this being hard to say because I don't want to come across as arrogant, but getting a feel for how people react towards certain things and being my own objective 'devil's advocate' of sorts, I really started to understand deeper human emotion and what people like. They say that the most successful celebrities/musicians/athletes know they're going to make it before they actually do, and i've felt this way since I was 18 years old. Regarding the whole big picture of my life, I know that patience is a virtue and that when the planets are aligned I (we) will sneak into the collective subconscious of American culture and release all of my (our) material onto the world in a blaze of glory. I know there are so many minute details im leaving out but this is basically the general idea of how I got to where I am now in my life/where I'm going.
Moving on, I really have to start accepting the fact that I cannot change certain people, and that regardless of how much I try to instill a sense of 'truth in enlightenment', some people just weren't meant to think on a higher plane. I really do feel extremely lucky though because a select number of my best friends have the same mentality that I do, and that as a collective force we will be unstoppable; again, patience. This whole catharsis of sorts is literally just the tip of the iceberg of my personality, and if you want to peer into my soul to get a deeper understanding of your own, just ask. Like I said I really am a peaceful and understanding person, and that most of us are capable in utilizing the power of higher thinking in doing whatever we feel like. For example, last week the thought randomly popped into my head to run 40 miles. I've crossed the peak of personal limitations in my head and this means that I will not back down from any challenge that I don't think will hurt me or anyone else. Think about it this way, our whole existence is literally a flash in the grand scheme of the universe; 80 or so years humans live to while everything that surrounds us has been around for billions. In context, that's not even a wink, its a fraction of a fraction of a wink. So thinking about it logically, why not do ANYTHING you set your mind to knowing that, not to sound cynical, most of us will not be remembered a few generations after we die. I am only 24 years old, but when given the right resources, I could work on personal projects up until I was 40 and be remembered for centuries and maybe longer, because the creative mind uses the knowledge of today to pave a path for the trends of tomorrow.
The bottom line is that you cannot think in terms of black and white, life is essentially one big gray area. To really understand what I mean by this, watch the HBO show 'The Wire', where it portrays criminals as being justified, cops as being worse than the criminals, but it goes so much deeper. Anything worthwhile isn't easy, but anything easy is only worthwhile for a short period of time. Another fundamental lesson I learned in life is that the more you put into something, the more you will get out; hence the basis for Karma. Love can be infinite if both people realize it can, but at the same time love can numb you to everything else. Think about love this way; it's one of those circles in those diagrams we used to make in science class. It should be a circle that balances out the rest of your life, but it shouldn't be in the center. This brings me to my next point; balance. Doing anything in excess isn't good, even eating apples. Once you figure out how to use balance in an every day type context, life will flow so much more smoothly. For whatever reason my brain is kinda shot, normally I would use a really witty example of what i'm trying to say but I just can't right now. But im sure you get the big picture. Ladies, if you want to go on a 'date' or whatever you find interesting, don't hesitate to ask, my entire facebook existence is a satire of myself and I don't take it seriously, neither should you. I can honestly say that I'm one of the most down to earth people you will ever meet, and even though it seems like I'm losing my mind on a daily basis, its all just part of a big picture that will someday be brought into the spotlight. I'm not going to lose sleep if you don't want to, but know that if you do I can easily make your life 100 times more enjoyable. If I tell you that I really want to hangout with you, you better believe I mean it, I have no reason to bullshit because with or without you I'm going to be happy and eventually famous. Again, not trying to sound arrogant here lol. Wow I sound like a Match.com ad right now. Which brings me to my next point.
I don't think I could ever join an online dating site. For one, I think dates are extremely generic; there are a million different things you could do with a girl besides dinner and/or a film(movie). The reason I personally would never join an online dating site is because it feels like your going shopping for a person. If I know your name and interests before I meet you, that takes away the excitement like what's good. It goes back to the whole theory that everyone you meet in your life serves a purpose, if I meet you IN REAL LIFE it feels so much more genuine if somewhere down the line we realize we are 'compatible' and we 'go out.' Plus there isn't the excitement of quick scrutiny that everyone does but no one admits when you first meet a person of the opposite sex. You know what I mean, you meet a new girl, and this goes through every guys mind whether they admit it or not, ''Oh shes got awesome eyes BUT HER BOOBS ARE KINDA SMALL BUT OH WAIT SHES GOT NICE LIPS LOOK AT HER HAIR ITS SO SMOOTH OH WAIT BUT SHES BLOND I DONT LIKE BLONDS BUT MAYBE I DO LIKE BLONDS AND OH SHIT LOOK AT HER BUTT HAHA LEMME TALK TO HER BUT WAIT ILL PLAY IT COOL ILL TALK TO HER IN AN HOUR SO SHE THINKS I DONT LIKE HER BUT I DO BUT BY NOT TALKING TO HER IMMEDIATELY SHE'LL WANT ME MORE." I personally try not to do this flash analysis myself because personality (along with looks of course =) ) is my biggest turn on, but lets face it, we all do the flash analysis when a new person comes into our lives. The whole online dating thing feels so contrived, and honestly, if you can't meet people IRL and have to 'find' someone online that would work for you, then you have bigger problems.
Holy shit its almost 2:00 and I aint even tired, oh well, time to read this book about aliens 8).
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